Years ago, before becoming a spiritually oriented psychotherapist I took a workshop on relationships.  An exercise we did was to pair off with someone we didn’t know and share a secret.  The woman I partnered with said, “I’ve been ill and I have a belief that the ultimate healing is death.  I think subconsciously because I have this belief I’m not taking good enough care of myself and in some way I’m even killing myself.”

Automatically out of my mouth came, “Is there any way you can consider healing into life?” She said she’ll think about it.  I didn’t see her again until the close of the workshop when she came over to me to thank me for a new way of thinking about healing and a healthier life.

Over the years I thought about my own remark, “Healing into life.”  What did I really mean by that?  And what is it that we want to heal?

Many years thereafter having studied esoteric philosophy, Buddhism, Shamanism. Kabbalah and writing a book, Personal Kabbalah:  32 Paths To Inner Peace And Life Purpose, I’ve come to believe that healing into life is healing into our own life force; our higher Self; our soul. It’s the part of ourselves that allows us to feel vital, whole, confident, and secure. It’s the innate loving, creative part of ourselves.  And furthermore, all sickness is home sickness.  We want to return home to our True Self.

In Kabbalah it is taught that the highest part of our soul, the “Yechida,” is out of body within oneness and source; our life force.  It is the innate all knowing, all loving, all powerful, abundant part of ourselves; our Higher True Self, the essence of who we are.  Along with that there’s an inner self; the spark of divinity within the body seeking to open to and receive more of our True Self.  When we’re not connected to this greater part of ourselves we feel alone, lonely, discontent, out of balance and eventually become physically ill.

Whenever there are negative thought forms, repressed feelings and dysfunctional acting out behaviors we close off from our Higher True Self (soul).  In Shamanism it is taught that a part of the soul leaves the body to avoid the pain.  In psychology this is called disassociation.  Furthermore, when the soul leaves the body it makes room for spiritual intrusions or uninvited guests.  We feel out of sorts – or out of source – out of spirit.  The void is often filled with addictive behaviors such as alcohol, drugs, shopping, gambling, etc.  Or it can also be filled by internal disturbances of anger, depression, compulsions, fear, guilt and even physical manifestations of tumors, cancers and other uninvited physical ailments.  For healing, our goal is to fill the void with our Higher Self, our Soul, our life force.  It’s allowing this life force back in.

Kabbalists formulated a blueprint of creation called the Tree Of Life.  This is a map of creation delineating the forces of nature as well as our own personal relationship with these forces and the journey of our souls.  From a personal perspective it shows the steps to healing the parts of ourselves which may have disconnected from our life force.  It offers ways and means to reconnect through meditation and prayer.  Integrating psychology into the equation gives us not only internal tools but helps us see the obstacles to living these attributes and the practical steps to healing ourselves and our lives, curing our afflictions and even going beyond to Self Realization and Self Actualization.  Below is a chart with the ten Divine attributes, the obstacles to living them and the steps of repair.


Divine Attributes
Obstacles To Healing
Steps To Repair

1.  Inner Peace & Hope
Obstacle: Poor Self Care
Healing Step: Choose Life and Self Care
To feel peaceful and hopeful take care of yourself physically with
good nutrition and exercie.  To reach inside and experience your
essence, meditate.

2.  Self Love And Self Trust
Obstacle: Poor Self Esteem And Self Image
Healing Step: Become Self-ish
To feel good about yourself, and develop a strong inner
foundation, acknowledge and believe in your Higher Self, commit
to becoming the best Self (aka soul) you can be and make healthy
and righteous choices.

3.  Gratefulness
Obstacle: Negative Thoughts and Self-defeating Beliefs
Healing Step: Change your attitude to gratitude.
To feel grateful from the inside out you need to understand cause
and effect – that what goes on inside in thoughts and beliefs
transmits out and comes back.  It shows that we each are the
cause based on our thoughts and we receive lessons on what
thoughts and beliefs we need to transform for our souls to evolve.
Acknowledging the lesson gives an inner sense of gratitude.  It
also helps to keep a gratitude journal.

4.  Faith
Obstacle: Repressed Feelings
Healing Step: Let go And Let Love
When you hold onto emotions it feels like you’re in control when
in fact your emotions are controlling you.  To experience faith from
the inside out, master your emotions by identifying and releasing
them, opening to love, asking for the highest and best good, and
letting the universe take care of the rest.

5.  Beauty and Truth
Obstacle: We See Things Not As They Are But As We Are
Healing Step:  God is in the details
When we observe detailed facts rather than seeing things
through perceptions, assumptions, beliefs or expectations
we get to the essence and beauty of what is.

6. Justice and Empowerment
Obstacle: Giving Into Harmful Inclinations:  Judgments, Criticisms, Superiority , Inferiority
Healing Step: Self-Discipline
Judge not others, but yourself.  What you judge in others is
something you’re judging in yourself. Justice emerges when you
uncover the unresolved issues within yourself and experience
acceptance. Empowerment emerges with the willingness to say
what you mean without being mean which comes from disciplined
“right” speech.

7.  Grace
Obstacle: Being Unkind And Unmerciful
Healing Step: Heartfelt Forgiveness, Unconditional Love And Loving-Kindness
Grace comes with forgiveness. Forgiveness is for-giving up
the forbidding  parts of yourself and for-giving love. When you
forgive from the heart, not just the head, there’s a feeling of
unconditional love and spontaneous actions of loving-kindness.

8.  Vision/Understanding (understanding your role in the universe)
Obstacle: Wandering Aimlessly:  Having No Vision, Direction, Focus
Healing Step: Follow your bliss
Vision comes when you determine what you love to do and start
doing it. If you don’t know what that is ponder what you think
people need that you can offer, learn it for yourself and offer it.

9.  Wisdom
Obstacle: Self-sabotage: Feeling Unworthy Of Your Own Greatness
Healing Step: Feel entitled to have it all
For wisdom to emerge allow yourself to receive the goodness in
the universe.  Your role is to reach your highest potential and live
life to the fullest.  Since you and everyone else are in the image of
the divine, then like divinity, you have the ability to live your
highest potential and reap the rewards of abundance.

10.  Oneness and Will (Presence)
Obstacle: Regretting The Past, Worrying About The Future.
Healing Step: Be humble, live in the present, dare to dream
Being humble comes with surrendering your compulsions to the
Divine.  Living in the present means accepting what is and what
you have right now and being open to excellence – your own
excellence.  When you live in the present you experience the
presence of the Divine and oneness.  When you set an intention,
you co-create with the divine and anything is possible.  Dare to
dream and set the intention to manifest it with love.

Live these ten principles and see what transpires.

Staying In Touch And In Love,

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You’re 40 years old and married 15 years.  You have two children.  Your husband/wife is climbing the corporate ladder or is a stay at home parent and is a nurturing, and attentive, parent to your children.  You’re living in a beautiful home, and have a relatively comfortable lifestyle.  Then you meet someone – and lookout.  The Tinglies!!!.  You feel a connection like never before.

This new attraction is empathetic, takes an interest in you, listens closely, gives feedback- something your partner doesn’t do.   This new person helps you feel good about you.  You feel a warmth all over your body when you think about this person and crave to be with him/her.  You begin to wonder, could this be your soulmate?

You do believe you love your partner but you’re not “in love,” anymore because now with this person there’s such a strong connection.

What does this all mean?

What it means is with this new person you’re experiencing lust, not necessarily love.  There’s no judgment, no criticism, no animosity, no control issues – something that probably didn’t exist either when you first met your partner and had the immediate connection.  However, as the years flew by with possible money issues, raising kids who now can be challenging and answer back, and either a two-career household with each of you having business responsibilities or various other stay-at-home parent volunteer positions, husband and wife begin to have strife.

So what’s the answer here?  Don’t give up your marriage for a dreamed of fling.  Work on transforming the emotional charges of strife to tinglies and rejuvenate those you first had with your partner.  When you do this you develop a higher tingly of being in touch with the goodness within yourself of doing what’s right for you and your family. That’s when you feel really good internally.  And the higher tinglies emerge when you identify and work at what you love – and this comes when each partner is mutually supportive of the other.

Morton Hunt, a researcher who wrote many books on marriage in the 1970’s said “A good marriage is mutual psychotherapy.”  If you think about what a therapist does, (excluding sex) a therapist ideally listens, validates feelings, empathizes, and gives constructive, inspirational feedback.  If you could do that for each other, then you would always feel connected.

The goal, therefore, is to come from strength and love, and give it to your family rather than needing love from them.


I invite you to think about opening to your own love and giving love rather than looking to get it.  That way you’ll feel more love and actually attract it.

Keeping in touch and in love,


Searching For Tinglies
By Penny Cohen, LCSW
© 2009 All Rights Reserved Penny Cohen

Posted in Love-n-Life
Penny Cohen

Last year there was an article in the New York Times Magazine section by Zev Chafets titled “Is there a right way to Pray?”

I don’t know if there is a right or wrong way to pray. But I do know an effective way to pray. To pray effectively first we have to determine what prayer is and to whom or what we are praying and then what we desire to pray for.

If we look at the traditional Abrahamic Judaic/Christian/Muslim traditions prayers involve repetitive phrases, melodies, and songs stating there is a God – a merciful, loving God. They involve summoning, petitioning and thanking God. They also may include some body movements of pounding on the chest, making the sign of the cross, knee bending, and bowing. Often they are said in daily rituals at certain times of the day and in specific ways.

Contemporary secular spiritual teachers use many different words for Divine presence. They might call it the universe, light, love, oneness, Higher Power, vortex, flow. These all carry the connotations of a force of energy of light, love and wisdom that we can align with and flow from. These are all words for God – but a God of love – a guiding organizing design incorporating a flow of love.

To align with and flow from source we first have to become an open channel to source. That means we meditate first to reach a state of peace within. To talk to God or a source of energy that we communicate with we have to affirm God or whatever you may call this essence of love and wisdom into our lives. After opening to and affirming source, we command and demand what we desire – and I use the word desire rather than want since want is a need and desire is a choice. In the scriptures as mentioned above there are biblical phrases, prayers, and songs to constantly be recited about praising God, and saying how wonderful and amazing God is. We can do that regarding love, wisdom, understanding, etc. This is a way of asserting and acknowledging God or the sources of energy we wish to derive in our lives.

As in what we think we attract, if we constantly state that we believe in God, and the type of God we desire to believe in, we will attract the God we believe in – and hopefully it’s a God of love and creativity rather than reward and punishment.

I came to this realization a long time ago after reading Og Mandino’s book The Greatest Miracle In The World in which his prescription for happiness is to recite every day for 100 days phrases that I abbreviated: “I believe, I make the right choices, I count my blessings, I have faith, I go the extra mile, I am unique, I have patience and I love: I love myself, others and God.” It was approximately 100 days thereafter that I had a spontaneous spiritual experience.

From that time on I’ve learned to pray by meditating first, opening to light and love, express gratitude for it and in that state think, see, feel, touch, taste what I desire. And, for the most part I get it – if it’s for my highest and best good, which I always add at the end of my prayer: “This or something better for the highest and best for the good of all.” It’s a much easier, more wonderful and way to live.


I invite you to practice effective prayer. Think about the God of love, state there is a God of love, feel the love, be grateful for that love, and then petition this God by asking for what you desire – and do it with all your heart, soul, and might and at the end add, “This or something better for the highest and best for the good of all.”

Keeping in touch and in love,


Posted in Love-n-Life
Penny Cohen

Faith And Trust

In discussing the concept of letting go and having faith and trust with a student in one of my groups she stated that she believed in God but was also afraid of God.  She said, “I know you are supposed to let go and let God. But I can’t trust in a God that punishes.”

I asked her, “What about opening to a God that is love?”

“I’m afraid to open up to a loving God because I don’t feel worthy of it.  I also couldn’t trust in it,” she said.

I asked, “If you believed in a God that is all love what would that be like?”

“To me a loving God is someone who watches over you, protects you and is always there for you,” she said, “And I can’t trust that.”

“I can’t trust that God either,” I said blatantly. “God doesn’t love and protect us.  We have to do that for ourselves.”

“Then what do you believe God is?” she asked.

“I believe there’s a universal life force.  And this life force encompasses an intelligence greater than all of us. You know the expression, ‘The whole is greater than the sum of the parts.’  And even Einstein said, ‘My comprehension of God comes from the deeply felt conviction of a superior intelligence that reveals itself in the knowable world.’ God to me is pure intelligence. Pure consciousness.  Total awareness.  It’s the intelligence of us all.  And in that intelligence or awareness is a means to infinite peace, love, and wisdom.  We are the ones who can access those positive energies, and it depends on what’s going on inside us that transmits out and comes back in some form. Therefore, whatever we get is a direct correlation to what we put out. We reward and punish ourselves.”

“Then why all the suffering?” she asked.

“We are given lessons on how to live Godly, which to me means living with unconditional love, and when we don’t we are reminded by what feels like reprimand. It’s the law of cause and effect. What we put out comes back. Again, since we do the directing, we’re the ones doing it to ourselves.”

“Where does the Holocaust or 9/11, fit in here?” she asked.

“I can’t say why that happened to each person involved – or what their individual soul lesson was.  But the world certainly learned lessons.”

“So you don’t believe in a man up there?” she asked.

“I believe in cause and effect and we’re the cause.”

“Then what do you pray to?” she asked.

I immediately wanted to say light and love, but what did that really mean? Then, automatically out of my mouth came, “I don’t pray to, I pray for what I want and I always start with asking for peace, love, wisdom and understanding.  And, when I experience an openness, for the lack of a better word, I call that sensation God. But I don’t think of God as a person who watches over to reward and punish.  It’s an energy force of pure love intelligence. And within that “all intelligence” is a part of my consciousness that knows all about me. I consider that my Higher Self. And I communicate with this higher part of me through instincts, inklings, sensations, feelings, thoughts, words and deeds.  I have witnessed in this lifetime that what I think and perceive, how I feel, the way I speak, and how I act creates what I attract to me and receive.  And, I have a sense that these thoughts, feelings, words and actions can come from the beginning of time – my time, the first time my soul came into being – probably many lifetimes before this one.  And what I came in with in this life is based on what I may have done in past lifetimes positively and negatively – my Karma. And, not only that, I also believe we come in with a structure of DNA affecting behavior patterns that create not only medical conditions carried forth from ancestors but mental and emotional issues as well.  We come into a body with tendencies to act and react in certain ways.”

“Watching my behavior, seeing how people react to me, listening to myself think and speak and noticing how I feel, gives me clues to my lessons. My role is to correct the unloving parts of myself, – to become all loving by loving myself.  Since what I think, believe, feel, say and do, creates what I get in life then in essence I am God in my own universe. And you are God in your own universe. And everyone else is God in his or her own universe.  Together we make up the greater whole of intelligence. When we allow ourselves to receive love, and feel the love within ourselves we open to a greater intelligence filled with love; unconditional love, Higher Self love. Divine love.”

“So you believe you have to love yourself, which means you have to trust in yourself,” she said.

“Exactly,” I said excited that she understood the concept, and listening to my own words I was hearing my philosophy of my relationship to the universe, faith and trust.  “I constantly work on trusting in myself to stay connected with these greater forces by processing my thoughts and feelings and that’s when I sense a warm, loving presence and often get inspiration and guidance from a higher intuitive level. And, I know that what comes to me is what I need for my soul to evolve – to learn to love.  And when I respond to what comes in pro-active rather than reactive ways, I see positive things come to fruition.  And that’s where my inner faith emerges.  My belief is we each are a God in our own universe and we co-partner with a greater Good – all intelligence. And, since my perception of God is good, we have the potential to be good and act Godly and therefore be great ourselves.

She laughed.  “I like that,” she said determined to change.  “So I don’t have to believe in a loving God,” she went on, “I just see myself as love and love myself. And, when I do that I’ll feel a part of the greater whole and a greater love. And that’s when I’ll feel guided and supported. That’s when I’ll have faith from the inside out because I will experience it.”

“Right on,” I cheered. “There’s a certainty about it because you experience it internally and even see it in action. And that comes when you nurture and love yourself enough to feel the love within.”

Invitation:  I invite you to pray for love, wisdom, and kindness, allow yourself to receive these qualities and watch and see what happens.

Staying in touch and in love,

Many years ago at my High School graduation right after moving the tassels on our hats, we greeted our families. Before reaching his family, my friend Rob stopped to say hello to my relatives. My aunt walked over to wish us good luck. Rob automatically said, “I don’t need luck. I’ll make my life happen.” I thought he was very arrogant and apparently so did my aunt. She walked away mumbling under her breath. Today Rob is a multi-millionaire.

I believe it did take luck. Or I should say the intention, determination, persistence, patience, passion and gratitude to do what it takes as I watched Rob climb the corporate ladder over the years.

Rob and I are still friends and recently I asked him what he attributed his good fortune to. He said, “Thinking about what I want, putting it out there by sharing it with others, accepting what I get back and taking action on what I think is right. I reevaluate when things don’t work out and move forward again.”

Remembering his remark many years before, I asked, “Do you attribute some of it to luck?” He shook his head from side to side, “No, I make things happen.”

I then asked him if it came easy to him. He said, “It took a lot of work, focus, and direction and things would fall into place.” Then he added, “I guess you could say the falling in place is luck – but I still was the cause of it.”

It was always a passion of his to be successful. He saw business as a challenge and he loved the game of it and never had any doubts or fears of not being successful or even being successful. Although it was filled with hard work, it was done with passion and love. He also added adamantly, “I manage the honest way.” Although he was a skeptic, he was living the law of attraction. And he reaped the rewards in business.

The law of attraction is that whatever you put out in thoughts and feelings, comes back. And when you do things with passion and love the universe returns it in kind. Therefore, luck is the response or effect of cause. You make luck happen. You create what you get.

To create luck it takes either having the passion innately or doing the internal work of first letting go of fears, doubts or anxieties and putting passion and love into potential with what you desire and then take action with an open heart. That’s when you reap the rewards of enjoying the process while working on the outcome and feel “lucky” in life.

I invite you to think about what you wish to accomplish or have in life. Make sure there are no internal obstacles such as negative thoughts, doubts, fears, anxieties, feelings of unworthiness or being undeserving and put it out to the universe. Then stay focused on what you desire, take action on what comes and just let go and enjoy the process of living with passion and love – or is it luck?

Keeping in touch and in love,

Do you love your partner but don’t feel like you are “in love” anymore?”

At the beginning of a relationship there’s usually the lusting romantic stage. Two people are so totally into each other there’s a magnetism and craving to be together. You feel like you know each others’ thoughts and even at times may experience ESP and mental telepathy. After a year or two most couples begin the power struggle. Judgments, criticisms, and feelings of being unloved emerge. And then, they grow into either connection or separation.

Where are you with this, connected or separated?

Being part of a couple is a challenge. It’s the challenge of maintaining love, independence and interdependence. It’s the balance of compromise without compromising yourself. Being part of a couple offers the greatest spiritual lessons. It involves learning how to love, help accommodate the needs of your partner while getting your own needs met. It means communicating in ways that are non-judgmental, non-critical, forgiving and being loving and kind, in spite of all challenges and obstacles. To do this you need to have presence of heart, clarity of thought, adhere to emotional transparency, listen attentively and speak truth with confidence, integrity and honesty.

Each party in the relationship has to work continuously to maintain his or her own sense of balance, inner security, and unconditional love. If not, he or she will look to the other to help get these needs met. When the other person can’t meet them, he or she will begin to judge, criticize, disrespect, and resent the other person. One becomes the angry acting out partner, and the other passive and withdrawn. Morton Hunt, a researcher on marriage once said, “The best marriage is mutual psychotherapy.” At that time psychotherapists analyzed clients. That’s the worst thing you can do in a relationship. I say the best marriage is being loving life coaches for each other. If you think about what a life coach does, you’ll have an idea of what makes a good marriage.

What does a loving life coach do?

A loving life coach listens and mirrors back thoughts, validates experiences, and empathizes with feelings. A coach accepts who you are, gives constructive feedback, nurtures, supports, and helps you to be more confident, loving, productive and happy. A coach helps you feel good about yourself and become even more than who you are and live from your innately loving, creatively wise Self. How do you think it would feel to be partnered with someone who does that for you?

Passion, Love And Sex

Passion comes when each partner is open to his or her own love. As partners help each other be more open to themselves, each feels good about him or her Self, and in touch with the sensual part of the Self. Then comes the sexual relationship. Here it takes two consenting adults. When each is clear of distractions, judgments, criticisms, doubts, fears, anxieties, and focused on being open to loving and receiving their partners love, the sexual act is more passionate and much more fulfilling. It’s a total union of body, heart, and soul. It’s blissful love. So the work is to help each other be free of stress, doubts, fears, anxieties, judgments, criticisms and develop internal resources that helps you stay open to unconditional love. When two people are in this state of unconditional love together and open to “receive” each others love there is true intimacy and bliss. We don’t just love each other. We are “in love” with each other.

I invite you to commit to love, listen, live and let live and do it well together.

Staying In Touch And In Love,
Author’s Bio:

Penny Cohen, LCSW, is a way out transformational psychotherapist who helps people dig deep within to come out ahead in love-n-life. In essence, she is a leading edge spiritual psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, energy psychology and Imago relationship practitioner, and Love-N-Life Coach. She is the author of Personal Kabbalah: 32 Paths To Inner Peace And Life Purpose and offers self-help tools while coaching people to return to their roots, overcome the burdens of self-defeating thoughts, feelings, and actions and success sabotaging behaviors, ancestral influences, and past life vows. People open to receive love, passion and purpose, and achieve their dreams. The end result is Love-N-Life. To learn more about Penny and Love-N-Life visit:, or contact

Penny Cohen

Have you ever heard yourself say, “I love him or her but I’m not “in love” anymore?

What does it mean to love someone but not be “in love?”

I like to make the distinction between personal love and authentic unconditional love.

Personal love is the love we experience when we are involved in a relationship with another person. Loving that person means caring for him or her. Being there for him or her. Doing for him or her. This type of love is usually based on conditions. It’s contingent on getting personal needs met such as companionship, nurturance, approval, appreciation, discipline, to be heard, sex, etc. When these needs aren’t met we often feel insecure, inept or unloved. That’s when we tend to blame, judge or criticize others or ourselves. Self worth and respect begin to diminish and we no longer feel our own love.

What is authentic unconditional love? Authentic unconditional love, on the other hand, which I classify as the state of “being” in love, comes from a deeper place. It is love that has no conditions attached to it. It is not contingent on what someone can do for us, or how our personal needs can be met, but instead, who we are. It emanates from deep within us. It is our spark of divine truth, void of conditioning and other peoples influences. It is our true essence of divine goodness, understanding and wisdom. When we come from this part of ourselves, we come from love.

Why do we fall out of love?

Falling “out of love” is not because our partners don’t love us. We fall out of love because we withhold love. We put guards around ourselves.

I had a client who had just broken off her engagement to a man in fear of being hurt, as she had been in relationships past. During a visualization exercise I asked her what she looks like when she sees herself with men. She saw herself shielded in a suit of armor. She couldn’t receive or give. When I’ve asked other clients during relaxation how open their heart is some have answered, “It’s not open. It feels like a black hole.” Or, “I feel like I have a steel box around my heart – not letting love in or out”

We tend to close off, often unconsciously as a means of protecting ourselves from getting hurt. However, if we’re closed off we’re already hurting ourselves by keeping ourselves from receiving love. The protection is to keep our hearts open. When we’re open to authentic love the right words come out at the right time and we have the courage to set and keep boundaries, which is the real protection. And when we come from the deeper part of ourselves, it is normally heard by the other person. Furthermore, when we’re open and say and speak from compassion and love whatever we say is heard. When we feel heard we are more open to each other and feel loved. That’s when the energies merge and we feel, “In love.”

Being in love is when two souls merge together. There’s an inner connection; a union; a feeling of intimacy. It happens when our hearts are open – open to authentic unconditional love and each other’s energy.


I invite you to go inside and ask yourself, “At this moment how open am I?” You will get an intuitive answer. If you’re not open, practice opening ideally at different times during the day and keep rating your level of openness. The reality is we aren’t open at all times. However, if we make the commitment to stay open, there’s a better chance of experiencing the closeness more often than not.

Staying in touch and in love,


Oneness with the Divine means being in Divine Paradise. From a Kabbalistic perspective it means to be in the endless light and relate from Oneness. In Christianity it might be staying devoted to Jesus, the personification of love. In Sufism it is a connection to a merciful God. They all carry the connotation of being with and coming from the Divine. To stay attached to the Divine we need to love and be loved, which means to allow ourselves to love ourselves and to receive love from Our Divine selves.

How did I come to this perspective? I was an atheist until age 38 when I went through divorce. In my search for myself I learned among other techniques, to meditate. I began meditating on the qualities I wanted to achieve in myself: Inner peace and love; wisdom; understanding; forgiveness and loving-kindness; courage and self-discipline; compassion; faith; gratefulness; generosity and genuineness; achievement. To achieve these qualities I had to free myself of inner tension, self put downs, misgivings, ungratefulness, being unfocused, lacking commitment and feelings of helplessness and hopelessness.

During internal inquiry meditation while processing my negative thoughts, repressed feelings and opening to light and love I’d feel a warmth surround me and actually enter into me. It was an energy of inner peace, and confidence; a vibration of love and joy. I felt secure within myself. I began thinking this is what it must be like to “feel” or experience divine presence and what I imagined a God of love would be. And when I started imagining and acknowledging God inside I felt an even greater warmth and joy that was indescribable. The warmth was overflowing. I began thinking this is Divine love. This is God around me entering into me. This is received love.

One day during meditation while I was feeling this incredible warmth and love I automatically screamed internally, “I love you.” Tears swelled, sweet tears of inner joy; of bliss. I was receiving love and sharing love. It made me think of the words in the Song Of Solomon, “I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine.” I was being loved by God and loving God all at once. When I surrendered my ego I opened to pure love.


I invite you to think about loving a God of love and love that love by opening your heart to receive love. A way of knowing how open you are is to meditate and focus on the heart area and ask yourself, “How open am I right now?” If not too open then intend to open it and keep it open. With the intention you’ll be guided on how to do so.

Keeping in touch and in love,

Penny Cohen

Babysitting for my six year old granddaughter one afternoon we were playing a game. Then I saw her head shirk, and she looked around, “Is this all a dream?” she asked out of the blue.

“What do you mean?” I asked her.

She reiterated, “Is this all?” She pointed around the room, “Is everything here a dream?” she asked again.

I asked, “Do you think it is?” She said “Yes.”

My version and vision of reality is that it’s an illusion and it’s the mystical that’s real. However, since reality is made up it can also be magical. Stay with me on this. The mystical is the only thing there is. Everything else is a matter of perception.

Not only that. We, each individually, are all there is. We each are the One in Oneness and the oneness is within each of us and everyone is a reflection and perception of ourselves. That’s the mystical part.

How did I come to these conclusions? Well, think about this. When I see you, I’m the one observing and creating a picture in my mind. What I think of you is my perception of you. What I think you’re thinking of me is my perception of me. The way you treat me is a vision I retain in my mind. The way I feel is what’s going on in my body. Based on the law of attraction – or cause and effect, what I have going on inside transmits out and comes back. So whatever I have and do is based on me, myself, and I. That being said, nevertheless, I’m still not alone.

When I let go of my unhealthy ego, the me, myself and I, I open to the I that is we. The I that is all One. All of us together. All consciousness, all knowing, all awareness. And you know the expression, “The whole is greater than the sum of its parts,” I can open even further to the love and wisdom of us all and take advantage of it by intending what I desire. And I often get it. That’s what makes life magical.

How do I know this? Well, when I set an intention and let go of tension, I see the magic and miracles taking place. They may not always happen the way I imagined, but they happen. For instance, when I was working on my first book I got blocked on one particular section. I kept thinking I should sit down and write it out by longhand. That slows my mind down and information comes out differently. For weeks I kept thinking I “should” write it out. Yet, I’m a very fast typist and was seduced by the computer. Well, one day I woke up, went to the computer and found it had crashed. I both cried and chuckled at the same time. But I sat down to handwrite and broke though my block. I got what I needed, even though it wasn’t the way I expected it.

Another magical time was the day of my wedding. I wanted to get married outside and originally set a date in June. However, my mom was sick and getting very frail so we pushed it up to March 8th. The day before the wedding is was 28 degrees and snowed. The morning of the wedding in the mansion we booked where we were getting married we were trying to decide where to have the ceremony. I wanted something informal and thought perhaps we could all just stand around in the large living room and then go into the ballroom for the reception. While explaining this to the caterer a waiter came in from outside and asked and declared. “Have you been outside? It’s 75 degrees out there.” With the sun not only melting the snow on the ground, but shining down on us we were married outside. Another miracle that day was the tablecloths. I originally wanted a specific color yellow to match the purple and yellow centerpieces. However the caterer said he couldn’t get the right color yellow. So I gave in and accepted plain white. The day of the wedding the caterer came running over to me, “There was a terrible mistake. The tablecloths that were delivered are yellow.” And they were the right color yellow.

I could go on and on about the other miracles that day as well. However, the message is when there’s love, and we set an intension, and get out of our own way by releasing the tension, miracles happen. And that’s how life can be magical.

Invitation: Develop a daily practice of processing your thoughts, feelings, speech and actions and transforming them to love – and observe the synchronicity of thoughts and happening and enjoy the miracle of it all. That’s how we create a magical life.

Staying in touch and in love,

A few weeks ago I added a facebook post discussing breaking through our “Upper Limit Setpoints.”  Several people asked what that meant. Upper limit setpoint is a term coined by Gay Hendricks, co-founder of the Hendricks Institute.  They are the unconscious restrictions we put on ourselves to keep us in our comfort zone.  We are only accustomed to so much goodness, so much enjoyment, so much love and so much prosperity and when we go over the limit, the universe brings us back down.  Why?  Because our physical vibration doesn’t match our desires.  We are not prepared or ready to receive the good.

One of my clients, an accomplished artist, who did a lot of volunteer work in her life said she didn’t do much in the way of contribution – until a friend offered to spruce up her bio.  Upon reading it she said she couldn’t believe that it was hers – but it was.  She didn’t own what she knew and did.

Another woman had agreed to do a presentation for a big organization.  The day it was scheduled she forgot to check her calendar and missed it altogether.  How’s that for sabotage?

A man who was dating a woman for almost two years and was in love said he was breaking up with her because she was becoming too manipulative.  He was afraid she would take advantage of him because he had trouble setting boundaries.  How’s that for cutting your nose to spite your face?

Another man who knew he was in line for a promotion, but was also competing with someone else, ended up coming late to an important meeting where he would be seen by the promoters of his position.  What’s going on here?

To change our vibrations we need to identify the stop-gaps we have within us that sabotage our success.  It can be blocks in any area of our lives:  personal, relationships, career or spiritual.

Some of these upper limit setpoints are from negative thoughts, self-defeating beliefs, repressed feelings, demeaning speech, negative attitudes and dysfunctional behaviors.  They may also involve deep vows, parental and ancestral lineage tendencies, and cultural, racial, societal, and religious influences. Most often it includes hidden feelings of unworthiness and undeservingness and not giving ourselves permission to receive and achieve. These all stop us in our tracks.

How do we recognize upper limit setpoints?

We see repetitive patterns reoccurring in our own thoughts, feelings and behaviors, the way people treat us, and what we have in life.  Or, we just don’t have what we hoped for or thought we’d have.

Here are a few of many other setpoints you might want to explore in your career and love life:


You fear failure so you don’t even try.

You fear success because you may become too arrogant.

You believe if you’re successful others around us will be jealous and withdraw.

You fear criticism.

You fear responsibility.

Love Life

You’re afraid of opening your heart too much because people will take advantage of you.

You’re afraid of being hurt so you reject before being rejected.

You’re afraid if you love too much it will be overpowering.

You believe if you open your heart, you will become vulnerable.

You’re afraid of intimacy.

Lack of motivation is a big stopper in overcoming self-sabotaging limits.  One client while talking said she wanted to loose ten pounds – and was really determined.  However, during meditation when I asked how determined she was to do what it takes to loose the weight she started to say, “Very.”  Then she hesitated, “I like my deserts too much.  I guess I’m not really ready inside.”

Invitation:  Sort through your negative thoughts and feelings about love and life, and check to see how motivated you are to overcome these self sabotaging limits.  If you need help identifying your limits or becoming more motivated to overcome them, please feel free to contact me:

Staying in touch and in love,